The Digital Conspiracy That Made Itself
Today I will describe the first conspiracy theory that was first made online and second made itself true. The only reason this is “true” is because I’m here to say so. I was reading through the patchwork of some history that had yet to be written before that was designed by [REDACTED] who claimed to be in a PhD program of [REDACTED]. I am unable to name the source because I cannot prove it anyway, but it is totally true! I will explain. I want to explain that I am not crazy. I am not the one who usually believes such things. But this is definitely, totally real.
Before I get to this particular conspiracy, let me first give an overview of a theory of what conspiracies are and how they historically work. Conspiracy theories are, ultimately, a perspective of a negative materialist space, a speculative ontological or metaphysical truth. They are an explanation of the goings on of power struggles in a social, political, or economic space which act upon us in ways that are psychologically manipulative. There’s an invisible war going on over something, y’all! Anyone saying otherwise are sheeple not seeing the BiG pIcTuRe.
What are Conspiracies?
Conspiracy theories only remain conspiracies if they are not “public” information. Otherwise, they are just the usual theories of visible things. Gatekeepers, institutions, secret organizations, and unknown systems of control (probably aliens) are withholding the truth (definitely aliens) from YOU in particular. Furthermore, nobody can verify this to you. The central claim of almost every conspiracy is a hidden actor, document, artifact, action. It’s not that JFK was assassinated. It’s that it is a part of some giant organization to control us that we can’t see, and JFK and political powers that we see threatens that secrecy. It’s not about who shot JFK or how he was shot. These details are important to explaining the forces behind these actions. But they are not the core of the argument. It’s about WHY he was shot. (Also… something, something, lizard people.) It’s not about the fact that aliens are possible. It’s about the declaration that aliens act invisibly among us, above us, within us for reasons that are just beyond the facade of rational behavior. We are in a hologram designed by protocols that we live within, and cannot see beyond. It’s a secret assassin organization that functions in the underworld and the only way we know about it is that at the fringe of the organization, somebody killed the wrong pup. Strange. Things. Are. Afoot. At. The. Circle. K. No! This isn’t about Keanu Reeves! We know about Keanu Reeves! It’s deeper than that!
Conspiracies are about invisible things that become ontologically obvious to the very fabric of whatever you want to call “reality”. Not so obvious that you would know, mind you. But I would. It becomes a metaphysical truth inherent in the supposed materialism of experience. You’re in a simulation of their design. The power only becomes visible with an intense look at the monsters in your dreams, in the incongruent references of these obscure academic texts that nobody else is talking about. Or at least, they aren’t talking about them in the right way. Osho was hinting at it most certainly. Sure, the statistical likelihood that playing a record backwards actually saying something meaningful eventually would happen, but like, how COULD it have been THAT record. Am I right? Somewhere knitted between the lines of some Steven King novel, personal experiences, Holographic Universe Theory, and a wink from Deepak Chopra all religious and spiritual power dynamics are explained. There’s an underlying, undeniable story. But only if you weren’t so gatekept from just the right experiences and information. Right?
It’s at the point that such a narrative becomes a part of your experience of interpretation, a part of your reading of the everyday world that all of a sudden it must be true. It is true. The thing that nobody else can see is a part of your specialized vision that makes your subjective state important. You have to explain this! Otherwise, how else can everyone else know! Right? There are ghosts! I’m not here to say this is wrong because it’s not! I might have said otherwise before, but not now. We have these experiences, and we need to explain them or else some moment in time that we individually are privileged - NAY, MORALLY REQUIRED - to explain powerful circumstances to anyone who can possibly pass on such a story.
This is how conspiracy moves. It is driven by a speculatively real threat of immanent forces. We subvert such forces by telling the “TRUTH”. And this is why I must tell the truth.
The Internet Native Conspiracy Materialized
So here’s the deal: I witnessed the first digital conspiracy theory become real while the conspiracy theory itself became the conspiracy. Somebody, I can’t name, posted something that I can’t talk about here. I can’t say their name because they were anonymous. I can’t tell you about the post because, firstly I can’t remember it exactly. Secondly, talking about it makes even more true the power it fabricated by its existence and sudden evaporation. See the problem? No, you probably don’t. Let me explain…
There have been circumstances kind of similar to this in the past. Think Slender Man. Slender Man was a born digital horror that lead to the unfortunate radicalization of a couple of really young girls that ultimately ended in the murder of one of their friends because ‘Slender Man told me to’. However, here’s the difference: we know the origins of Slender Man. Slender Man isn’t a conspiracy. Slender Man isn’t a subversive power. He’s a folk tale that can be traced back to a 2009 post by Eric Knudsen, aka “Victor Surge,” on a website called Something Awful. It has themes that clearly come from other similar horrors. It’s attributed, verifiable, and everything. Slender Man clearly not real no matter how much we mythologize him.
Importantly different from Slender Man, what I am (not) talking about IS real but without attribution. The original post is gone. I cannot find any record of it anywhere, but I KNOW it existed.
The problem is that because it is gone, the following events are the supposedly oriented by some actual, verifiable truth. But these verifications of the “actual” float towards and away from each other indecisively. They never quite validate each other in whole. It’s sort of a Godel’s Proof kind of problem. Either things will be always incomplete with our reality or we will need to assume the existence of a ghost. The causality is not clear. It’s not in the data because the causal event is not in the data. Yet, I know the truth. This evaporated post inspired these actions. When the post was deleted, no attribution to it could be made, and thus, no causal data could be found. Clearly this is a dangerous power! It’s as if the media can create a theory online, target it to a select few of us to act on it, and then disappear forever never to be used as evidence ever. But I can’t talk about what it is because if I did, I would be one of the manipulated acting in accordance with the powers of the like of Slender Man. But worse. I become a part of a ghost network manipulated by an invisible PsyOps. See the problem???
I keep seeing traditional news media and people online talking about things that were born online, but they cannot speak to them or know their causes. Their origins are elusive. The logical argument is trivially true. If P then Q is always true if P is impossible to verify as true, right!? Q exists! But I’m not allowed to speak of P! But P happened! Now everyone believes that events following are products of real events, but they weren’t. They were contrived by this anonymous character online. Worse, I can’t explain how all these events go together to become false without talking about the origin that existed but now does not. What is real about this situation is now a ghost, and what is happening is now a construction of this actual ghost. As Obiwan Kenobi famously says in Episode II, “… the archives must be incomplete,” but in this case, there’s no planet, no material body for which Master Kenobi can fly off to verify for us that it’s “right where it should be. Our missing planet, Kamino.” Here, there’s no Kamino. No planet. No material.
Normally, such things would be found in some computer system somewhere. Or it would be found in some computer log that could be found by some digital forensics, but not this. Such memory could not be allocated to this. This actor knew what they were doing. This is the kind of stuff that somebody posts on 4chan, it disappears after a day or two, but people hold onto for the rest of their lives believing it not remembering why in the way that there are manuscripts cited by Greek philosophers that will never be read because they were lost. But here there is no attribution at all, no marker that we can see that would guide us to where they were informed. This, as far as I’m aware, is the only record of this truth.
THIS is how I came to believe a the world first born digital conspiracy theory that BECAME true because it existed, changed us, and then evaporated. It is the world first actual full, honest-to-blog simulation except for this last little marker of history of what really happened. What was actual became ghost, and what was contrived became real. They say the Internet is dangerous because what we post lasts forever. I know it’s also dangerous because of what DOESN’T, yet haunts us still.